Chris

The hour between 6:30 and 7:30am Friday morning was the probably the most important hour since I arrived here over three months ago. I think about the meetings I’ve been in with influential people, the planning sessions and decisions that have been made. These things are good. But sometimes it’s the spontaneous moments and the opportunities to share the Words of life that are far more important.

Thursday evening I was walking home with my friend Rebecca, who volunteers at Akhanani, PCM’s homeless ministry. We passed Chris, a homeless man who spends most days on Minaar street, a couple blocks from our flat. Usually Chris is lying on the bench with his head in the lap of Jenny, who has been his woman for the last ten years. I remember that on my very first day working at the Potters House, I was with some of my coworkers as we passed Chris and Jenny walking together. He was helping her along, as she was at the time using crutches. And she was guiding him, since he’s blind. One of my coworkers expressed benign jealousy regarding the kind of love they have for one another. After that I frequently saw Chris and Jenny together at Akhanani’s temporary headquarters at PCM. I was surprised one morning to find Jenny there alone, with a black eye. Love is complicated. She and I talked for awhile about her options and she explained that she needed to get away from Chris. I was both surprised and disappointed to see them back together not long after. I often said a short prayer as I greeted them. As I’ve gotten to know more of the homeless people in our neighborhood, I’ve heard different stories which have made me aware that there are other sides to the story of their relationship. And I even started to admire the way they look after one another.

But for the past week or two Chris has been alone on the bench. Some told me stories of Jenny stealing from Chris and running off. Regardless of the situation, Chris has not been doing well. Thursday, walking home in the rain, I told Chris he was looking a little better and he responded by demonstrating how much weight he’d lost and explaining to us that he hadn’t eaten in eleven days. We asked how we could help and talked about shelters, but he only wanted to was wait to die. He swore to me that he would never eat again. Not knowing what I could offer someone in this situation, I asked if I could pray for him. When he refused, I told him simply that I would pray for him on my own.

When Chris told me he didn’t want to live, I was at a loss. I felt powerless. The next morning I felt compelled to find Chris, check on him and offer the only hope that I know. After some searching I found a man helping Chris across a street. Chris took my arm and we walked to his usual bench. I asked if I could read him some poetry. I read Psalm 40 aloud, with verse 12 especially on my heart for him. It was that verse that he asked me to repeat. When I had finished reading, he remarked at the poem’s beauty and asked me to read it again. We talked awhile and then I read Psalm 62 as well. He asked me to pray for him and for Jenny. We prayed together holding hands and I watched passersby stare at us. I thanked God for the beauty of his creation and his love for us. Chris wiped away tears as he thanked me. I continued to sit with him as he told me about Jenny and about his children. He spoke of rejection and being unwanted. But he also spoke of hope. He said he believed things were going to get better. And he took the granola bars I offered him. Then he asked me to leave so he could drink, not wanting to drink in front of me.

Monday morning Chris asked me to read Psalm 40 again to him and the friend sitting with him. He also told me that after talking with Robin the other day he got down on his knees and prayed, “Here I am. Take me as I am.” And he said that God did.

I need to get Chris a Bible. He asked me for one so he could read Psalm 40 to Jenny when she comes back. I also told him I would find the nearest AA meetings for him to attend. And I’m hoping to get him enrolled in our poetry class at SoCA. I don’t know what will happen to Chris, if his life will change or not. But God has been challenging me to believe that He is powerful to redeem lives and even cities. So I will continue to pray for Chris and Jenny. And I will continue to lean into learning the importance of slowing down and making space for interruptions. I am finding that on most days I am becoming more willing to stop what I’m doing and talk or just sit with someone. I’m still working on being present with people in the office at SoCA. Students and facilitators alike often remark about how busy I am there. I’m trying to find the balance between productivity and presence. Presence. That’s the word Chris used when he thanked me for being with him that morning. It’s also a word I’ve been using in thanks to God and in prayers for this city.

Please pray with me for Chris and for Jenny, that they would feel and embrace God’s presence with them and that they would be freed from what entangles them. Pray also for me, that I will continue to learn to see my neighbors and be present.